Crying For No Reason, Or For Every Reason?
These last few days I have shed so many tears my face turned pink & blotchy, yet the strange thing is I'm not sure what I have been crying about.
The end of June saw the arrival of my son's final day at Pre Pre School. Yes that's Pre Pre School so not even Nursery yet. (I'm not sure how I'm going to cope next year!) At the moment he goes just 2 mornings a week as he's only 3 years old, yet I found myself getting a bit teary at the thought of his last day.
When the day in question arrived I had to do my best not to cry in front of the teachers and other parents, so this meant just saying a quick "thank you & goodbye". We had all clubbed together to get the 4 "Aunties" a leaving present though & I had also included my thanks in a gift card from Rowan, so they would know how thankful we were.
Rowan started there as a timid little boy, about to turn 3 years old. Although he had always been quite chatty and friendly, that was when he had the comfort of his Parents or Grandparents around. It was a different story having to stay all on his own with a new group of children and adults. Yet the first couple of days he only needed me to stay with him for 10 minutes or so before he went off to play happily, and he stayed for the whole 2 hours 45 minutes every day he went. We were so proud of him. He adopted a new favourite person in the form of Auntie Lesa, and looked forward to seeing her each time and telling her his news. I was so pleased he had someone to make him feel safe and happy.
Although I had explained to Rowan it was his last day, I don't think he really understood the finality of it all and so he wasn't upset in the slightest. In fact he has told me he will go back there after his next school & asked would he not see Auntie Lesa at his new school! I had a little cry to myself when I saw the photographs and "Little Hands" painting they had included for us, along with a gift for him. It was very thoughtful and personal, so yet another reason to set me off.
Fast forward to the next day and I still found myself feeling very emotional., and bursting into tears at various stages. Surely, I couldn't be this upset about him leaving Playgroup I thought? Over the course of the weekend I still found myself wanting to cry and I blamed it on being tired & hormonal.
I think allowing myself to cry for the occasion of the final day of Playgroup had in fact opened up the floodgates for all the emotions I have been feeling over the past year or so. There have been a lot of changes in our lives lately, from being pregnant with my 2nd child, moving house after 8 years & welcoming the new addition to our family (our 2nd son Theo.) Rowan has had to grow up by moving into his big boy bed in a new house, potty training, giving up his dummy, becoming a big brother and starting Pre Pre School. We all had to settle into a new routine and we're tired, very tired. Theo hasn't slept through the night yet and he's nearly 11 months old.
So what is the point of me rambling on about all of this? Well, as well as it being quite therapeutic it was to say that it is OK to cry sometimes. I haven't cried this much since Day 5 Post Birth when the baby blues hit me briefly. It doesn't mean we're weak or not coping as mums, it just means we need to let it all out sometimes before getting back to the daily grind of our busy lives.
It's now Monday & I am pleased to say I haven't cried yet today, even when I lifted Rowan's uniform out of the laundry and realised he'll never wear that sweatshirt again. Oh no, don't get me started!
Just for fun I've made a list of the Top 5 Things I Have Cried About This Weekend:
1) Change
They say nobody really likes change don't they? Perhaps it's the fear of the unknown. In my case it was the change of Rowan finishing school that started me off. If I look deeper it could indeed be that Rowan is growing up & officially starting a new Nursery soon. Theo was a little newborn when Rowan started his last Playgroup & now he's almost one. Our lives are also significantly busier with 2 children and my poor body is too (split tummy muscles and slight umbilical hernia anyone?)
2) Guilt
I think I feel a bit guilty that he isn't continuing on at the same Playgroup for his Pre-School Year. It would have been easy to let him stay there for a second year. However, we're moving him to a Nursery closer to our new house, it was a 45 minute round trip to his current one. The new one is also attached to a School which should hopefully make the School Application Process a bit easier.
3) TV Shows
I used to laugh at my poor Mum crying at television shows or films, but now I have turned into her and have a good cry over Neighbours or Corrie. It can be something sad or something happy, either way I will enjoy a good blub.
4) Kids Being Cute
When my children do or say something really cute, or any children in fact. If I see a video on Social Media for example, or read a poem written by another Parent it is just too much for me to handle.
5) No Reason/Every Reason
Sometimes I don't even need a particular reason and the tears come tripping. Like when someone asked me was I OK or I'm cooking dinner or simply have a moment to "think." That is always a big mistake, so it's lucky we don't get the opportunity to think too much!
Anyway, I hope this blog reaches some other suddenly teary mummies or temporarily teary anybody and lets you know you are not alone and you are not a weirdo, you're just a little bit sad and there's nothing wrong with that.
(If you've been feeling sad for a long time, then PLEASE speak to someone. There are lots of people who want to help. This blog was just about being a blubbering mess the odd time!)
The end of June saw the arrival of my son's final day at Pre Pre School. Yes that's Pre Pre School so not even Nursery yet. (I'm not sure how I'm going to cope next year!) At the moment he goes just 2 mornings a week as he's only 3 years old, yet I found myself getting a bit teary at the thought of his last day.
When the day in question arrived I had to do my best not to cry in front of the teachers and other parents, so this meant just saying a quick "thank you & goodbye". We had all clubbed together to get the 4 "Aunties" a leaving present though & I had also included my thanks in a gift card from Rowan, so they would know how thankful we were.
Rowan started there as a timid little boy, about to turn 3 years old. Although he had always been quite chatty and friendly, that was when he had the comfort of his Parents or Grandparents around. It was a different story having to stay all on his own with a new group of children and adults. Yet the first couple of days he only needed me to stay with him for 10 minutes or so before he went off to play happily, and he stayed for the whole 2 hours 45 minutes every day he went. We were so proud of him. He adopted a new favourite person in the form of Auntie Lesa, and looked forward to seeing her each time and telling her his news. I was so pleased he had someone to make him feel safe and happy.
Although I had explained to Rowan it was his last day, I don't think he really understood the finality of it all and so he wasn't upset in the slightest. In fact he has told me he will go back there after his next school & asked would he not see Auntie Lesa at his new school! I had a little cry to myself when I saw the photographs and "Little Hands" painting they had included for us, along with a gift for him. It was very thoughtful and personal, so yet another reason to set me off.
Fast forward to the next day and I still found myself feeling very emotional., and bursting into tears at various stages. Surely, I couldn't be this upset about him leaving Playgroup I thought? Over the course of the weekend I still found myself wanting to cry and I blamed it on being tired & hormonal.
I think allowing myself to cry for the occasion of the final day of Playgroup had in fact opened up the floodgates for all the emotions I have been feeling over the past year or so. There have been a lot of changes in our lives lately, from being pregnant with my 2nd child, moving house after 8 years & welcoming the new addition to our family (our 2nd son Theo.) Rowan has had to grow up by moving into his big boy bed in a new house, potty training, giving up his dummy, becoming a big brother and starting Pre Pre School. We all had to settle into a new routine and we're tired, very tired. Theo hasn't slept through the night yet and he's nearly 11 months old.
So what is the point of me rambling on about all of this? Well, as well as it being quite therapeutic it was to say that it is OK to cry sometimes. I haven't cried this much since Day 5 Post Birth when the baby blues hit me briefly. It doesn't mean we're weak or not coping as mums, it just means we need to let it all out sometimes before getting back to the daily grind of our busy lives.
It's now Monday & I am pleased to say I haven't cried yet today, even when I lifted Rowan's uniform out of the laundry and realised he'll never wear that sweatshirt again. Oh no, don't get me started!
Just for fun I've made a list of the Top 5 Things I Have Cried About This Weekend:
1) Change
They say nobody really likes change don't they? Perhaps it's the fear of the unknown. In my case it was the change of Rowan finishing school that started me off. If I look deeper it could indeed be that Rowan is growing up & officially starting a new Nursery soon. Theo was a little newborn when Rowan started his last Playgroup & now he's almost one. Our lives are also significantly busier with 2 children and my poor body is too (split tummy muscles and slight umbilical hernia anyone?)
2) Guilt
I think I feel a bit guilty that he isn't continuing on at the same Playgroup for his Pre-School Year. It would have been easy to let him stay there for a second year. However, we're moving him to a Nursery closer to our new house, it was a 45 minute round trip to his current one. The new one is also attached to a School which should hopefully make the School Application Process a bit easier.
3) TV Shows
I used to laugh at my poor Mum crying at television shows or films, but now I have turned into her and have a good cry over Neighbours or Corrie. It can be something sad or something happy, either way I will enjoy a good blub.
4) Kids Being Cute
When my children do or say something really cute, or any children in fact. If I see a video on Social Media for example, or read a poem written by another Parent it is just too much for me to handle.
5) No Reason/Every Reason
Sometimes I don't even need a particular reason and the tears come tripping. Like when someone asked me was I OK or I'm cooking dinner or simply have a moment to "think." That is always a big mistake, so it's lucky we don't get the opportunity to think too much!
Anyway, I hope this blog reaches some other suddenly teary mummies or temporarily teary anybody and lets you know you are not alone and you are not a weirdo, you're just a little bit sad and there's nothing wrong with that.
(If you've been feeling sad for a long time, then PLEASE speak to someone. There are lots of people who want to help. This blog was just about being a blubbering mess the odd time!)
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